The Sandbox

moving with intention is being sovereign over your actions and playing for expression.

The 3 stories that eventually made an article.

First story: LEGO

The company LEGO was established in 1932. The name was derived from the Danish word that says “play well”. A simple brick design, patented btw, has entered more houses in this world than there are people probably in it. The simple lego brick that did nothing on its own but with other bricks joining it made endless possibilities for things to be formed and built.

I noticed first that they didn’t name it “play to win” or “play better”. Something about the actual name “ Play well “ seems more intentional than it first sounds.

When I learnt that, I found myself asking the question of what would I ask the creators of this simple brick? What would I ask when I meet the people who created something that has impacted the world for over 90 years. What were their thoughts, if there were any. And how would I explain to them that these blocks became the foundational elements to anything imagination could conjure. These days, we have lego art shows where everything from engines of cars and star trek space ships were built. Art shows and artists who created, built and explored all with the single block that was created back in 1932.

It starts from within the space of our own home. You get the blocks in their colors, shapes and sizes then you start connecting them. That is it, there are literally no rules behind it. Going back to my memory as a child, I never did well building castles out of these blocks. But I was able to spend hours upon hours, testing, checking and directing the blocks into place. Those were the days where my whole world was within the realm of my home. There within the reach of my arms, I was the creator of my own little world. A world I would build, shift, add, remove… all while using the same blocks that I started with the day before.

See, back in those days, my hands were all the tools necessary for all the creative endeavors in my room. Sometimes my parents would come in to see how I was doing. My dad would laugh at the design and advise on how I can adjust (engineers right), while my mother will question the reasoning around what I’m building, what’s the use, why I chose that design and that I should study instead of wasting my time. she would say that she was trying to teach me something… but I never really got what. Though looking back I wonder. Was she trying to teach me creativity? Can you teach creativity???

See the more I played, the more creative I became. My world within that space in the corner of my room was constantly expanding. The time spent in that corner was blissful and cherished, it was time spent in my own reality. The time spent with the blocks was time I spent with myself, with my own will, with my own intentions. The more time I spent with the blocks, the more my world expanded and the more creative I became. By making better structures, most still useless, but in principle got better at understanding their elements. I then started building in components, and assembling systems that lead to my creative approach. At heart, I was engineering how my reality looks like, building it, testing it and dismantling it, one block at a time.

As I grew up and entered the social landscape, for a while things lost their virtue. It was only until recently that I started noticing the patterns of my own mind. The patterns that shape my reality and the ones which express my actions to this shared world. Now I imagine that the idea of lego blocks was meant for us to consider our own power within this world. The idea behind “ play well” instead of “play to win” or “play to finish”. That is that extra intention which opens our eyes to the world around us, as a sandbox. Just like the small corner in your room where you had your lego blocks waiting to be assembled, this world is its own sandbox for you to build in. a place where we are the creators, where we need to be able to “play well”.

Maybe, the creators of this toy saw LEGO as the building block of our own imagination. Maybe they understood that the activity where we build using those blocks is introducing us to our world building and our own reality. Maybe their vision was a world where kids explore within their houses. Maybe their vision was to give the children experience in playing well for the time when they are exposed to the world beyond the protection of their house. an experience which allows them to look at the world as a sandbox, observing its patterns and evolving their own capabilities. Improving on their powers of recognition towards the building blocks of this world. And what they can connect to as they construct the foundations of their own reality before translating it into the shared world. .

These days the world keeps looking more and more like the small space at the corner of my room. That space where I would spend hours every day playing with the blocks I had in my hand, trying to make something out of them. These days I look at this world with a vision I have of it, one I did not hold when I was a child, building within the limits of my creativity. These days, with a vision encompassing the whole universe, every thing within this shared world looks like the lego blocks did. All the sizes, shapes and colors of this world form the elements and components of a lego set. Everything within the scope of my vision, with the right attention, could become a LEGO block for your vision to be constructed with.

I can now look at this world through the eyes of the creators of the LEGO block. The creators of this toy, who were training us to observe this world as we did in the corner of our room where our LEGO set were scattered. To observe the world as a sandbox, ready for our creativity to be explored. A sandbox where our vision is to be translated. A sandbox where each element within it is a block to be used, shaped and considered as we construct and translate our own view.

Second story : Fairuz and the song “ Biktob Ismak”

One day I was walking and saw myself looking at the sand on the side of the road. I was reminded of a song by a Lebanese singer, Fairuz. A song that is about her love, one in which she says: “ I write your name,my love, on the old stone water hole. You write my name, my love, in the sand on the road. Tomorrow the sky will rain, your name will remain while mine will be erased.”.

The idea is that her actions stick around while his actions fade with the seasons. Pretty deep ya 😉. But given how I am, I asked myself the question, is he actually writing her name or just moving his finger in the sand, and her name is just the result.

See, objectively I had allocated effort and intention to action. From her side, to write someone’s name in stone, you will have to carve it there. You will need a hammer, a chisel, some time, energy even some experience/ mentorship… while to do so on the sand is just a brush of a finger.

So who is moving the hand? All the effort into the stone was proof of the process which led to the end result. The name itself was just the result. So I ask the question. Her “honey-buns” moved his finger around the sand for her name to be written. But didn’t she do the same thing ? when asking the question did he “write her name” or did he “ move his finger in the sand”? The same question could be asked about her. Did she write/carve his name? Or did she “hammer a chisel around with the name being the end result”? It was a moment I shared with my thoughts and this world. I’m grateful for the environments I created, surrounding me, which allowed for these moments to become documents. Moments like these no longer slip without my attention. For all I have is my attention to give, everything else is the result of that action.

Over the next weeks, that image of sand stayed with me. If I don’t really write my name, I just move my hand around with a pen in my grip so that my name gets spelled out, then the same building I was in wasn’t really built by anyone. Its walls were not built by anyone or anything. They were the result of people stacking blocks on top of each other to form a wall. Yes yes yes, I know there is also cement, sand, paint, putty … other materials. But the main gist is a separation of the action from the end result.

Fairuz loved him so much that she used tools, moved different parts of her arms, hands and body, exerted force and pushed for the chisel to leave its mark on the stone. Her energy towards the lover of hers could not be expressed by a mere brush of a finger. The dedication she had for that love had her make more moves than necessary but ended in a result that lasts for years. While her lover’s efforts only lasted till the next rainfall or gust of wind.

It’s the action that breeds results, it is the work which we do. The effort is not a must but it is necessary. It’s an expression of the energy we are emitting, and the intention we have towards that energy. She loved so hard that she expressed her love with every element of her body, over and over until the result was her lover’s name. While he loved so little that he expressed with the move of his finger.

Even if he never understood her love, the world for years and years after was able to see the dedication she had, the strength she had, to declare her love and the courage to take the steps necessary even when her lover did not reciprocate.

When I was a child, I called her crazy. When I would hear the song, I would call her delusional and most times I would laugh at the stupidity and naivety. These days I am being called crazy. When people speak to me, I am being called delusional and behind my back when I am mentioned the story about my stupidity and naivety keeps circulating.

Is the feeling I have now the same as how she felt back then? Is this what it means to be intentional, dedicated and driven? To be ridiculed for all the energy you are exuding into the world and having everyone you know moving their finger in return. When everyone around me shows support for me, by writing about my work in the sand, while every day I find more ways to chisel my effort into the world itself. What is this feeling where even when I find my actions blocked, I shift to a new way to ensure I finish what I started, even when I am not even close to understanding the breadth, depth and layers of my vision.

I somehow feel with Fairuz, even when she knew that he was not responding in kind to her energy, she persisted. And her efforts and actions were met by the world etching her story on the stones of the water creak, for generations to revive.

The way I see it, Fairouz had built a castle with the blocks in front of her. Each action, from a chisel to a hammer and eventually a name carved, was like using different shapes of blocks in order to build something unique. While her lover just connected enough blocks together to make a wall, his efforts were simple and basic, while her efforts were dedicated and inspired.

If she had love for one man and spent days performing actions with his name being the result, a name which lasted for generations, then what can I say about my own efforts? It has been over 5 years since my intention has been daily activated, where action was delivered even when the purpose was blurred, where movement was key and the rest was a luxury. Every day before I sleep, I return to the vision I have of this world. Where my efforts are daily etching their expression into it. Every day I find new blocks to work with, reassign old blocks and adjust the new ones which still need attention. Every day I dedicate intention towards my vision, and give attention to the blocks that are being constructed. Without any idea how they will contribute. Only with each new day, the vision gets clearer, and the blocks themselves reveal their purpose or the absence of one.

Third story: “The bhagavad gita” about action.

“The Bhagavad Gita” is an epic that revolves around a conversation between a prince and a god. It is a conversation that happens in a time of turmoil and chaos. The prince had many decisions set in front of him. Decisions which placed him under a trial, a trial that has his entire world shift. One where the prince will need to take responsibility for the actions that are needed and necessary to be taken for the current situation. And the strength to handle the consequences that come with it: the effects of these actions on his psyche and spirit, as well as the effect of his actions on his people and kingdom.

This is a quote given to prince “Arjuna” by the avatar of the god “Vishnu”

“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction. “

What does “the action different from the end result” mean ???
Having the right to the actions but not to their fruit. Simply translates to, what you are doing will give you the result of what you are putting into it. Your expectations do not at all influence the outcome, it’s only the actions you perform regarding the subject at hand. The same way, the singer decided to put thought, effort, time and energy into carving her lover’s name, and he placed no effort, thought and energy into it. Our actions are the foundations of the results, but who are we to truly understand what our actions are contributing to.

An old buddhist saying says,” with one eye focused on the goal, there is only one looking at your feet.” This says that all your focus should be on your actions that directly influence the outcome. That your actions should be with purpose, conviction and purity of intent. Actions that contribute everything that you can deliver to whatever you are doing. To whatever process you are flowing through.

In essence, if you’re going to play, then play F***ing well.

But when playing, we play with expectations. When we are building, we build with visions. Yes when building with lego blocks you are attempting to see the end result, but the lego block only responds with the image of the step behind each action, not the whole castle i was trying to build. It was me and the lego blocks, nothing else was interfering in that environment at home. So I could play well and learn from the results of my own actions. But outside in the world… did the lover of Fairouz not consider rain, or wind or other people that walk by? Did the lover of fairouz not consider that his effort would be easily overwhelmed by the fluidity of sand and the nature of the world ? While she, on the other hand, expressed her love considering nature itself while playing with tools, thoughts, patterns and stones.

Fairouz found her action reciprocated by the stone carved, every thought that came to mind leading to her actions was an action in its own. A consideration of things that will contribute to the end results. Yet, she had no control over the end result of her actions… Sadly, her lover didn’t stay true as much as the carving of his name did. Her actions had results that were reciprocated by the stones of the well, but they did not result in her lover reciprocating, her feelings, her efforts and her intention. Would she have still carved his name knowing the end result? I believe that regardless of the end result, it was more important for her to express her love, even when the possibility of her feelings. not being reciprocated was there.

Further in the epic of “The Bhagavad Gita”. They discuss the other side of the equation. The side which balances the energy exuded, for the purpose of action. Just as we are involved in action and devoted to the process we decided to pay attention to, we are to renounce the action itself. The moment we are no longer in the process, is the moment our actions are no longer ours. Just as the writing on the stones stayed when the love had died.

Trust “in the process” not “ the process”

The process is not a thing in its own self..It’s “in the process” where we live, where we flow. It’s in that process where we find ourselves and identify with our actions. And when that process is done, we exit and we leave that identity “then” and “there”. That process can’t be trusted, for it is fleeting and consuming. The process consumes your energy and attention. The only difference is our own intention regarding it. A fight with a client? Did you intentionally enter the process? A morning walk? A 4 hour work sprint??? All events throughout our days, the active and passive ones, have their own processes. Whether we were present for them or not, they still happened. Every one of them comes with a projection and a reflection. Every one of them brings with it an experience and a resolution. Each process comes with its own rhyme, melody and rhythm.

So where can you place your trust? Are you a jazz lover or just a lover of music? Are you a can-can enthusiast or just love entertainment? Are you into classics or just instruments?
It becomes simple when you realize that you are not the process itself, but the one observing it happening. You are simply the one enjoying it, and when you are giving attention, you’re not giving the process your attention, but are giving your actions the attention they need to express who you are as best as possible in that potential moment, in that place. When you place your trust, you are placing it in your abilities. The abilities to explore, expand and connect.

You are placing your trust in the process which you have involved yourself in, the one that is exposing you to your intentions. The process that opens your eyes to the behavior which contributes to actions. You’re not trusting the process itself since it keeps changing and you have to keep adjusting the nature of your trust, but you’re trusting “in the process” which was the result of “your intention towards taking action”

When you trust in the process, it means you renounce your own actions and let go. To clean your hands of anything that happened before, returning to exactly where you are and where you have come to. To renounce whatever identity that surfaced from the process itself and make room for the new processes to come. A discovery of intention that allows you to refine the world you are creating within your own reality.

My own self associating the “I” with the “End Result”

“Mirror mirror on the wall,
Do you remember me or not at all?
Was I ever looking at you?
Or just on a reflection you call”

That was a little poem I wrote in 2024. when I had just taken the decision to dedicate my efforts towards my project. My mentality was shifting away from the world and towards my view of it. Essentially the question that I kept asking myself was what kind of person makes this project a success. Since then, the efforts I have been expressing were purely to gain a better understanding of the standards that a person would have, a person who delivers my vision and translates it into the shared world.

First things first. “Who am I” is a question that has never been answered by anyone. The ones who moved the world before us always found a way to describe what it means to exist in the “I” but none were able to answer, explain or express properly who we are. And to be arrogant enough to associate the “I” with our existence says a lot about the distance between us and our present position. For me, I declare, I explore and I elaborate. Every time I use “I”, I am exposing that difference. It’s an ignorance from my side, a perspective that should take more attention than it’s granted. Every time I communicate, it is through me that I do so. And through me that I am able to explore my “I”. It’s my own ego identifying itself. What is worse, it is identifying itself with the work I am doing.

So when asked the question, Who are you??? I am an “Entrepreneur”, at least now I am entrepreneuring. Or am I a nomad? Am I “A Bum” because for 3 years I walked barefoot? Or a “ Dirt Bag”, because everytime we went camping I slept under the stars. Funny how these things are expressed, but when I speak to my family members, I am “no good relative”. When I speak to my father, I am “ A Bad Son”. That approach meant that when I was looking at my failures before that moment, I saw myself as the failure. And when I was looking at the world, I was the lonesome man, isolated from everything within.

Identity defines us, but it does so only temporarily. The world labels you through your actions but briefly forgets it. The Taoist poem speaks of

“the swan who flew above the lake: the swan never cared to cast its reflection, and the lake never cared to remember it”.

When the swan was on top of the lake, the water reflected its shape, movements and colors. When the lake was under the swan, the swan projected its aura, visage and presence. Neither had mind for the other’s behavior, and life moved on. Same as when I look at the mirror. But as humans, noticing our own reflection, we developed ways to hold on to it even when we are no longer within range of it. Our identification would extend to the different environments necessary, and sometimes seep into the ones private from the world itself.

I have become the identity in which my own presence expresses. Limited to the results I carry around with me, the ones that reflect my efforts or lack of efforts. What I am becomes limited to what is being projected and what is being reflected. But my reflection on water comes out differently than my reflection in a mirror. My reflection around my friend came out different from random strangers. It also became apparent that the mood I was in projected a different identity each time it changed. Imagine how many identities appear and disappear based on where I was, who I was with and why I was there. Imagine how many states were left un-consoled, awaiting closure from me or whatever was reflecting me, the moment that identity was created.

We hold identity and attach it to everything we touch.
In form; to show the world what we are.
In truth; it’s to maintain and preserve our own image within our reality and in our own mind. Somewhere along the line of our exploration of this world as humans, we slipped. As we grew up, we slowly forgot that we are not the reflection on the surface of the lake, but the lake itself. The same way we are the swan projecting itself onto the lake and the world.

We started our journey in this realm as human beings, and our growth is explored by how human we have become. With every interaction we project and reflect at the same time. We constantly take in and express ourselves. Inching closer or further with every action we take, to the truth behind our existence.

Who we are!

Just like the lego blocks. We build and identify then dismantle the structure before we build again the next day. Every day we wake up, we leave the house and enter this world. We perform actions we have chosen to, be it intentionally or passively. Every day we build from the morning till the night. Then when we sleep everything is wiped clean within our psyche. Who we are is refreshed the next day. We either continue with the actions we left off the day before, or with the identity we set aside before sleep.

Every day is a chance for us to start new, to dismantle our previous preconceptions, and play well with the world in front of us. A chance to look at our own approach as the one which expresses our reality into this world. A chance for us to connect with this world through the actions we contribute to it. The actions that give us a chance to explore ourselves through the process of engagement and discovery. A chance to carve our intentions into the fabric of life.

5 years. Every day I wake up with new days, new decisions to take, new choices to make. New processes to engage with and actions to explore through them. Before those years were a repeat exploration of the identity I had held dear. One where expectations were never met, when expectations were considered before any vacation was taken, a selfish approach that did nothing but fueled my need to be identified in this world. That filled the need for me to be seen and acknowledged. Those years, I would wake up and revisit the identity of the previous day, not changing, not giving myself the chance to exist. The day I woke up with the ‘me’ of yesterday on my mind, was a day that repeated itself. How can you move when you are anchored to an identity?? How can you take action which needs a result before you finish it?

For the past 5 years, these days have been a game with life. Every day, I wake up to the actions necessary for my intention to express itself. Every day I wake up to the sovereignty of my own existence, acknowledged by life itself. It’s in this sandbox of a world, that me and life are playing. Every day is play, where the process changes but my trust grows in it. The process that now reflects the truth behind me.

“See when we wake up and continue where we left off the day before, we move. When we wake up and continue with the identity we left behind, life moves and forgets about us.”

I imagine this world as a playground, a sandbox. Where every day I play, build, test and break apart the building blocks of my vision. The game shifts and changes as the process of play changes with each connection we make with life. Each action measured and received, pending the final block that completes the vision.

I once was many things.
A bartender, a manager, an owner, a bum, a dirtbag, a fisherman, a hussler, an entrepreneur, a founder, a son, a friend… the list probably goes on for a while.
It took me a while to notice that I was trying to play someone else’s game and that I was not playing well.

Over the past years, this world started changing as I played better.

For a long time, I did many things.
For a long time, I was many things.
But these days… I just am!

These days, I am but a player. I am playing a game with life.
Every day I wake up and take action, getting better at playing well, getting better at letting the results open up new avenues for activities that have the potential to lead towards my vision.
Every day has become its own unit.
Every activity holds its own version of me and its own actions.
Every day stands tall, until the day where the world is able to experience this vision, the vision which the process is constructing.